Why Matt and I work so well together (when we probably shouldn't)

People often tell us they couldn't work with their husband, wife or partner. To be honest, most of the time I agree with them. Running a business together means spending a lot of time together. You have the work conversations, the business conversations, the ideas conversations and then somehow you're supposed to remember to have the normal life conversations too. There are definitely couples who would find that their idea of absolute hell.

The funny thing is that when Matt and I first started working together, I'm not sure anybody would have described us as obvious business partners either. We're very different people. I know every married couple probably says that, but we genuinely are. If you gave us both the same business challenge, we'd approach it from entirely different directions. I'd probably have fifteen ideas within the first five minutes, three of which would be brilliant, five of which would be completely impractical and the rest somewhere in the middle. Matt would disappear, think about it properly, come back half an hour later and explain why one of the ideas would work, one definitely wouldn't and another might become relevant in about three years' time when consumer behaviour changes. Neither approach is better. They're just different.

Over the years I've realised that most business owners need different things at different moments. Sometimes they need somebody to help them think bigger. Sometimes they need somebody to simplify a complicated problem. Sometimes they need energy and momentum. Sometimes they need somebody to calmly step back, analyse what's actually happening and spot the thing everyone else has missed. Between us, we somehow manage to cover most of those things.

Matt has always been fascinated by the bigger picture. Throughout his career he's advised organisations through huge shifts in behaviour, technology and communication. He worked on Digital TV Switchover, and as I write this, he’s finalising a report he’s writing for the television industry on the future of advertising in a world where people increasingly don't sit down and watch television in a live, linear way.

In many cases, he's the person helping organisations understand what's coming next. He's the person writing the white papers, analysing the trends, looking at the data and asking what it all means. Whilst most of us are trying to keep up with what's happening now, Matt is usually interested in what happens next.

Importantly, he's never stopped doing that work. People sometimes ask why, especially when Coastal Media keeps us more than busy enough. The answer is actually quite simple: because it keeps us sharp.

The challenges facing small businesses today are often the same challenges facing huge organisations. The scale is different, but the questions are remarkably similar. How are customer behaviours changing? Where are people spending their attention? How do you communicate effectively? What will matter in five years that doesn't matter today?

Matt brings those conversations back into Coastal Media every single week. They're the reason our free workshops are never generic, the reason our one-day marketing bootcamp continues to evolve, and the reason we're constantly thinking about what's next rather than simply repeating what worked five years ago.

Then there's me. Whilst Matt is usually looking five years ahead, I'm usually sat in a half-day strategy session with a business owner trying to work out what's stopping them moving forward right now.

I love the messy middle of business. I love the moment when somebody arrives with fifty ideas, three problems, two opportunities and absolutely no idea where to start. I love helping people untangle things, spot possibilities they hadn't considered and work out what actually matters. More than anything, I love watching that moment where everything suddenly clicks into place.

It's probably why I love our half-day strategy sessions so much. Somebody will arrive feeling overwhelmed, frustrated or stuck and, and a few hours later, have a clear plan and a renewed sense of confidence. Watching that happen never gets old.

The same thing happens with our Go Digital work. People often assume one of us does one thing and the other does something else, but it doesn't really work like that.

We both work as advisors for Go Digital and write reports. In fact, I genuinely enjoy report writing, particularly when it allows me to pull everything together into something that feels more like a practical business plan than a report. I want somebody to be able to come back to it six months later and still find it useful, rather than it ending up forgotten in a folder somewhere.

The difference is usually in what the business needs. Some business owners arrive with a head full of ideas and no clue where to start. They need somebody to help them untangle things, prioritise opportunities and work out what matters most. Others arrive with a complicated challenge, a new technology, an emerging trend or a market that's changing around them. They need somebody who enjoys disappearing down a research rabbit hole and coming back with answers. That's usually where Matt comes into his own. 

The reality is that we normally know within two minutes which one of us should take the lead. Sometimes it's obvious. Sometimes it's because one of us gets disproportionately excited about the project and refuses to let go of it.

And sometimes it's because a business genuinely benefits from having both perspectives in the room at the same time….which is exactly why so many people love our one-day marketing bootcamp.

I think that's probably why Coastal Media works.

People see a husband-and-wife team. What businesses actually get is two completely different ways of looking at the same challenge. Quite often a business owner will explain something and I'll immediately start talking about opportunities while Matt starts asking questions neither of us had thought about. By the end of the conversation we've usually arrived somewhere neither of us would have reached on our own. Which, now I think about it, is probably why working together works so well too.

Why our bootcamps work so well

I think the One-Day Marketing Bootcamps are probably one of the best examples of how our different brains work together.

People often comment afterwards that they like having both of us in the room, but I don't think it's because they're getting two trainers. I think it's because they're getting two completely different ways of looking at the same challenge.

Matt is often explaining a framework, a behaviour pattern or a way of thinking about a problem. I'll usually jump in and explain what that actually looks like when you're running a small business in Norfolk, trying to juggle customers, suppliers, marketing and all the other things that demand your attention during the day.

One person in the room will connect with Matt's explanation. Somebody else will connect with mine. Between us, people usually manage to join the dots.

It's also why we keep the groups so small. There are never more than six businesses in the room because the conversations are where the magic happens. Somebody will share a challenge and whilst I'm busy spotting opportunities, Matt is often asking questions that take the conversation in a completely different direction. Quite often the breakthrough comes from somewhere in the middle.

Why our meet-ups feel different

The same thing happens at our monthly meet-ups. People often see the workshop and the networking and assume that's all there is to it. What they're actually seeing is two very different things happening at the same time.

Matt is usually responsible for the workshop content. He's constantly reading, researching, spotting patterns and looking at what's changing. Quite often the topics we cover come from conversations he's having elsewhere, things he's researching or trends he's seeing emerge long before they become mainstream discussions for small businesses.

Then I come along and create the bit I love. The room. The conversations. The community. Because whilst knowledge is important, confidence often comes from sitting next to another business owner who's facing exactly the same challenges as you.

The workshop gives people something useful to think about. The conversations afterwards help them work out what it means for their business.

The two things together are what make the meet-ups work.

The messy middle

If the bootcamps are where people learn and the meet-ups are where people connect, half-day strategy sessions are probably where I feel most at home.

Nobody arrives at a strategy session with a neat, clearly defined problem. They arrive with fifty ideas, three opportunities, two challenges and a vague feeling that something isn't quite working. They arrive in the messy middle. And strangely, I love that bit.

I love helping people untangle things. I love spotting connections they haven't seen yet. I love helping somebody take all the thoughts bouncing around their head and turn them into something clear and manageable.

Quite often people arrive thinking they need a marketing plan. Sometimes what they actually need is permission to stop doing things. Sometimes they need confidence. Sometimes they need clarity. Sometimes they need somebody to point out the thing that's been staring them in the face all along.

And occasionally, if the conversation starts drifting into emerging technology, changing customer behaviour or something that needs a much deeper level of research, I know exactly which door to knock on afterwards.

So why does it work?

I don't think it works because we're married. I think it works because we're different. If we both thought the same way, approached problems in the same way and spotted exactly the same things, there wouldn't be much point having both of us. Instead, businesses get two completely different perspectives, two completely different ways of solving problems and, occasionally, two completely different opinions. Somehow, we usually meet somewhere in the middle.

So yes, we're one of those slightly annoying couples who work together. We spend far too much time together. We talk about business far more than is probably healthy. But thankfully we're different enough that it somehow works. More importantly, those differences seem to work rather well for the businesses we support too.